Kaden's Day

I am back in good old Pleasant Grove. The weekend home was great! Saturday was a very busy and fun day. Our day began by going to Kaden's basketball game. I wore my mask and gloves and sat on the stage away from everyone else. I took my mask off until the gym started filling up with kids ready to take the floor when Kaden's game finished, at which point I decided germs were rampant. Kaden played well, just not as aggressive as I am used to seeing. His team won; something like 38 to 34.

Kaden and Daniel waiting to enter the game again.

We didn't take our picture until we were home.

Since I will be in the hospital on Kaden's birthday, we had a celebration Saturday from 4:00 on. Kaden wanted to eat at Cafe Sabor. I made reservations for 12 and called to remind them that we had to have a place away from people. They did pretty well at secluding us. The food wasn't as good as I remember, but we had a lot of fun.


Kaden even got sung to in Spanish (I guess?). Our server brought out 3 fried ice cream desserts for us to share. They were tasty.

My neice Taylie and I waiting to leave.

My sister Cami, nephew Tate, and me at dinner.

Me and my neice Lindsey enjoying time at home.

Kaden getting sung to in English. Good old Happy Birthday.

Angie and I went shopping to get Kaden's birthday gifts. We bought this shirt at Fanzz. We thought it was a medium, but it was an XL. We will be going to exchange it. Whoops!

Kaden's cousins adore him. I love how they flock around him.

I will be in the hospital on Valentine's Day so I gave my neices and nephews their treats. The deal was that they had to have their picture with me to get their bag. The bribe worked! Tate, Eli, Taylie, Ethan, and Lindsey all snuggled up.

Me and my grandma Lamb. She joined us for Kaden's festivities.

Saturday was a great day! Sunday was low key. I did get a wonderful visit from my great-aunt Portia. We failed to get a picture! I also had a great visit from my cousin Scott and his wife Leslie. We remembered to get a picture!

I wish I could have seen everyone I know while I was up in Cache Valley. I guess I will soon enough. May isn't too far away.?.?. I am just planning on best case scenario!

I now must go play Ticket to Ride. Stephen's patience is gone! He can't wait anymore.

Love you all!

Lovely!

Yesterday was a very long day. I had to be to the outpatient clinic at LDS hospital at 10:00. Started with getting labs done and my lines flushed. Had to meet with the PA to review meds and how I have been feeling. Then I got to meet with the social worker, dietician (how do you spell that?), pharmacist, and nursing educator so that I will know what to expect when I am in the hospital. After being in the hospital for a total of 43 days, the meetings were more a review of the things I already know. It took 2 hours to meet with everyone (11:00-1:00) and then we went straight to the family meeting until 2:20ish, and then had to have another chest x-ray. My parents and I left the hospital @ 3:00. My family and I can't figure out why they (LaDee) always schedules things through lunch. Go figure!

We had our family meeting with Dr. Hoda (1 of my 4 doctors), LaDee (my transplant coordinator), and one of the physician assistants (I don't remember her name). It was nice to have my parents, Angie, Greg, and Charise there with me. One thing I have learned through all of this is that I am blessed with an amazing family. I love them all so much! The purpose of the family meeting was to review the stem-cell-transplant process, to sign consent forms, and to have questions answered.

I did learn that my stem-cell donor is a 27-year-old white male; he lives somewhere in the United States; he has my same blood type, O-; he hasn't had some of the viruses I haven't had (apparently this is a good thing); and that is all. I can get more information in 1 or 2 years. His stem cells will be harvested wherever he lives and then transported to LDS hospital via carrier. I will be given the stem cells on Saturday, February 6 through one of the ports on my central line. The process is just like having a blood transfusion.

Before my stem-cell transplant, I will do 6 sessions (once each day for six days) of total body radiation with an extra boost to my brain. I have been very concerned about the extra boost to my brain. I feel like I am pretty smart and don't want to be "dumb" after. I can't remember who I was talking to, but someone said something to me like you are already so much more intelligent than most of us - having the extra boost will just bring you down to the same level as everyone else. I am choosing to believe this :). Maybe it will get me through. Following the 6 days of radiation I will do two days of chemo. The purpose of the radiation and chemo is to wipe out my immune system so it doesn't fight against my donor's stem cells. The objective of the transplant is for my donor's stem cells to go through my body and find/kill any dormant or hiding leukemia cells. As of now, I am in complete remission. My bone marrow is clear at the molecular level. That said, it is known that I have leukemia cells that can't be seen and that if I do not have a transplant the leukemia will come back and will win. So, transplant it is!

The scary part is that once the donor's cells start making white cells, red cells, and platelets in my body (called engraftment) I can develop graft vs. host disease (GVH). Essentially, this means the donor's cells view my systems as the enemy. Could be the liver, skin, GI tract, or whatever. GVH can cause a lot of problems for a long time. I just plan on not having a lot of problems. I will go into the hospital next Thursday and will be there for 4-8 weeks. I am planning on 4, but should maybe plan on 8 so I won't be disappointed should that happen.

The drive back to Cache Valley was good. We stopped to see my grandma Hill on our way home. I haven't seen her for so long! I adore my grandma Hill - my Norwegian grandma. We are always excited when we get grandma to give is some sort of a smile in a picture. She's always smiling, but is a goof when it comes to having her picture taken. Love her!

It was wonderful to get home to Kaden. I enjoyed visiting with some good friends when I took Kaden to mutual. I also visited my dear friend Janine, the Quists, and aunt Carol last night. I have decided that it is not possible to see everyone I want to see when I am here for just the weekend.

Today was a fabulous day! I had several appointments in Logan today, but made some time to go to my school. I realize it is a big petri dish, but I have missed my friends and students so much! I wore my mask the entire time and did my best to not touch anything. However, I could not resist giving big hugs to my friends. I was able to make it around to most classrooms - I ran out of time (dentist appointment) and didn't make it to 9 classes or the kitchen. I'm sure Curt (Mr. Jenkins) was happy about that because he was leary of my being there and concerned about the petri-dish effect. If I didn't make it to your classroom it wasn't because I didn't want to! My morning students were working hard when I got there. I loved the many smiles I saw and am concerned by a few reactions. I do not look like myself in my mask and bandana and I could tell some students were not too sure about me. I wish I could have seen my afternoon students. Scheduled appointments made it impossible. I am so appreciative to McCall for taking such good care of my students, my classroom, and my belongings. It's nice to not have to worry about things.

I was surprised by a wonderful sign, necklace, and quilt from my friends. The sign will be hungs in my hospital room next week, the necklace will be close by, and the quilt will be keeping me warm. I know the picture is kind of blurry - I couldn't get a nice, clear shot. Each square has a saying, quote, thought, or simply words of love on it. I took a close up of two of them.

(I am now understanding the frustration my sister Kim and brother Greg experienced when trying to add pictures to the blog. I don't know how to get everything to work how I want, so enjoy the randomness of the pictures.)

After my morning appointments I was able to go visit my great-aunt Ronda with my mom. I haven't seen her since summer but have talked to her on the phone a couple of times. We visited her quite often when I was younger. Her back has been making things really tough for her. It was nice to visit with her and to learn how her daughters and my great-aunt Portia are helping her out so much. I also loved how Ronda expressed her desire to serve and help others and her discouragement of not being able to. Sometimes having the desire is enough.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with appointments, piano playing, and resting. I was so worried that my numb fingertips would make it hard to play the piano. So far I can still play. I know that my ability to play the piano is a gift from my Heavenly Father to help me find peace. That may sound strange to some of you. It is something I have learned over the years. Sometimes the gifts we are blessed with are for our own benefit.

Love you all and am glad you now know more than you ever wanted to know! ;)

Mel

I'm Home (for a few days)

After a very long day at LDS hospital, I made it home to Hyde Park. I am so tired right now, but I told Angie I would post tonight. All I have to say is that I will post more tomorrow. I have to go to bed!

Melanie

Pretzel Project

Every Christmas, Melanie dips a lot of chocolates for us all to enjoy. This last Christmas she obviously wasn't able to do this. So, for her project today, she made her ever so yummy caramel, chocolate pretzels! We went shopping yesterday to gather all the ingredients.

It starts with making aunt Eva's delicious caramel. This involves quite a bit of stirring, so Melanie and I switched off to give each other a break.

Next we covered the pretzel sticks with the caramel. Melanie had to take a few breaks during this process, it was a bit tiring.

Finally, it was chocolate time! There were 71 total (notice the bold on were). We had some chocolate left over, so we looked around for something else to dip. We did a few mangoes, and a package of fruit snacks. Some of you lucky, fellow teachers may even get to enjoy these pretzels...hmm. Better make it to the mail room early on Friday morning!

Ladee called again with some great news. The bone marrow biopsy was clear at the molecular level! This was what they really wanted to see going into transplant. They would have done it either way, but molecular remission is the best case scenario! We go up to the hospital tomorrow to have another family meeting with all the doctors and coordinators. This time we get all the details of the coming weeks. It should be great fun and informative!

Melanie is heading to Hyde Park tomorrow afternoon!

Still a Go

Melanie heard from Ladee today, and everything is fine with the donor blood. We are still a go for the laid out plan. She will check back into the hospital next Thursday. She will have 6 days of radiation, two days of chemo, a day of rest, and then her transplant will be on February 6th. Melanie is so ready to just get it done! She continues to be in good spirits. We have been having a fun time here. We tend to stay up late watching a movie, so I have been bad at updating. We have now finished the Harry Potter series, and we are watching the last Lord of The Rings tonight. I just couldn't believe she had never seen these great series! Next I think we will move onto Mission Impossible. Melanie will head back up to Logan on Thursday for the weekend. I know she is looking forward to having an early birthday party for Kaden (she will be in the hospital on his birthday). Kaden stopped by last night on his way home from the baseball camp he attended. He had a wonderful time, and Melanie was so appreciative of the opportunity!

Melanie has a great project planned for tomorrow. I will be sure to take some pictures! I don't know how to speak "Elvish", or I would leave a parting word. Thank you all for your continuing prayers. I know Melanie can feel their power!

The Magic Number Is....

242,614.82

This number represents the amount of money Melanie's hospital bill was for the 38 days she spent there. The itemized bill was 28 pages, front and back! We were given a heads up by a neighboring patient, but it was stunning to actually see the bill. Granted this is before insurance, which luckily Melanie has. Hopefully they will cover 80%, but that stills leaves a big chunk, and she has a long hospital stay and transplant ahead. Kind of daunting!

There have been several donations made to Melanie's account, and given to her personally. A huge THANK YOU to everyone! We don't always know who the donations are from, but please know that Melanie appreciates it more than you know. Her wonderful school, Providence Elementary, raised $2600 last month. She works with some amazing people in a wonderful community! Cami is going to be organizing (with some help) a garage and bake sale in Cache Valley next month, so we hope to earn more money to help out. We will give more details on that as we get them.

Sorry I am not blogging every night. There really is not always much going on. We are going out when it is safe, playing games, watching movies, and just hanging out. Chase, Brooke, and Austin are having fun with Melanie here. It is great to get to spend so much time with her. Friday, Kaden stopped by on his way to a baseball camp he is attending in Mesquite. My brain was not working at the moment, and I forgot to take a picture. They are going to stop again on their way home Monday. Melanie was excited to see him. They were both super excited for the chance he had to go. A business in Providence sponsored Kaden's trip, with the help of the Triplett family. It is a great opportunity for Kaden and Melanie is grateful!

Live long and prosper, Melanie (we watched Star Trek tonight)!

Turning Fear into Faith

Things have been going great here in Pleasant Grove. Melanie has been feeling well and is in good spirits. I asked her the other day if it was the visit home. She said it was more just a change of thinking. Last week when she was here and having a hard time, we watched the movie "Emma" one night. In one part Joseph said, "We shouldn't let fear overcome our faith." Melanie said she realized that was exactly what she was doing. I have seen the change in her and it is amazing! I didn't realize the movie would have such an impact on her.

We have had a few great days. Yesterday we went out and about for a bit. Melanie wanted to get a few things for Kaden's birthday and stuff to make Valentine's for her students. We went to Kohl's, Target, The Dollar Tree, and Wal-mart. She would always wear her mask while we were in the stores and then we would sanitize our hands as soon as we got in the car. It was fun to watch the faces of children when they looked at Melanie in her mask. They weren't sure what to think. There was even one mother that couldn't take her eyes off Melanie. That was kind of annoying! For lunch we drove through and picked up some burgers at In and Out Burger. Neither of us had ever been before. We both agreed that it was alright. The burgers were good and a great price, but not as AMAZING as we had heard. Maybe if we had never had a JCW's burger, we would have felt differently. It was a beautiful day, the sky and air were clear, it was in the upper 40's, and it was just what Melanie needed.

Today we took a quick jaunt to the mall for some more Kaden shopping. Melanie hates to wear her mask, because it makes her so hot! She is great to keep it on while we are in public. We also try to go when there won't be a lot of people.

Here are a few pictures from today:


The kids love to do DS download with Melanie! They all compete, laugh, and have a great time. She has decided she needs to get a DS for her next hospital stay. Chase has offered to let her have his old one (that still works perfectly)! That will give her something to keep busy. Last night I even had to get after ALL of them to turn them off for dinner!

Here are some of the shopping bags from our outings.

Today we organized all the supplies and worked on putting together some Valentines for some lucky kindergarten students. Melanie is such a thoughtful teacher!

Forty-four bags ready for delivery!

Ladee called Melanie today and told her that they found some irregularities in the donors blood. She said it is typical for Hepatitis to come back positive, due to the chemicals they use to test for it at the lab. They often will get a false positive. They are doing some retests, and will keep her posted. If there are irregularities, they will have to try donor number 2, and it will delay things. Melanie does not want to put this off any longer. We are praying things can continue as planned. I didn't realize just what a blessing it was that Melanie even had one donor let alone three. There is a lady that was Melanie's neighbor in the hospital, and she does not have a donor. She is just continuing to do chemo until she can hopefully some day find one. We have been truly blessed and prayers have been answered!

A Full Day

Melanie had to be at LDS hospital this morning to get some pre-transplant testing. Since it was early, her and my mom stayed at Greg's last night. She had blood draws, testing for her lungs, testing for her heart, and another bone marrow biopsy. She was planning on being sedated for the biopsy, but it didn't end out that way. One person told her she could eat 4 hours before the procedure, but nothing after that. Well, it is actually 6 hours. So, she could either wait or just do it without sedation. She chose to be a rock star! The lady who did it was super sensitive to Melanie's concerns. She went really slow, and made sure there was plenty of Lidocaine along the way. I know it was not a joy, but Melanie said it wasn't too bad. They are checking to see if this last round of chemo was able to put her in remission at a molecular level. Hopefully it did, because that would be ideal going into transplant.

Melanie was also able to talk with the radiologist today about some of her concerns. They were suppose to make the molds for the shields that protect her lungs during her radiation treatments, but the equipment was down today. Melanie is most concerned about the extra amount of radiation they focus on her head. Since she did have some leukemia cells in her spinal fluid, they do this to try and stop any cells from coming back in the future in her central nervous system. The boost of radiation to the head is controversial, and has some possible side effects. They do make a shield to cover her face, so Melanie was glad for that.

After they were done at the hospital (they were there from 9:00 until 3:45), Melanie and my mom went to Chili's for some food. Her first big outing! Melanie was starving, since she couldn't eat all day. The waiter they had was very good. He sent her utensils through the wash an extra time and made sure her chicken was well done. They also tried to seat them away from anyone. A couple of booths next to them filled up, but Melanie just politely asked if any of them were sick. I met them at Chili's to take Melanie back to Pleasant Grove with me. After a tearful good-bye, my mom and Melanie headed in different directions.

Melanie could have gone back home this weekend again, but since Kaden was going to be gone for several days at a baseball camp, she decided to just come and stay here. She was in good spirits tonight! She watched Harry Potter #4 with Chase, Brooke, and Austin. We are getting her all caught up on the series! Hopefully we will have some fun adventures to post about this week. The next big scheduled date is next Thursday, January 21st. We have another family meeting with the various doctors to really get into the details of the radiation and transplant. Until then, we will enjoy the time here at base camp.

Mel's Taste Of Home

It was nice to have Melanie home for a couple of days. I loved to walk into my parents house and know that she was there. I know she soaked up every minute of the time spent with Kaden. She even let him sleep in her bed last night. I'm sure that his knee in her back never felt so good. Everything was kept pretty low key, no wild parties or late night pinochle games. Mike and Steph were both sick which was a bummer. Mel had a visit from a good friend and running buddy Anna who will be moving to CO in a couple of months. What a treat for Mel to see her before she leaves!

Today Mel and I spent some time talking, she expressed a lot of her fears for the months ahead. She is scared...who wouldn't be in this situation? The thought of being in the hospital for possibly eight weeks after the transplant is overwhelming. She was so ready to be out of there after the five week stay last time. Her biggest struggle right now is the thought of being away from Kaden for so long. It has also been hard for her to not be here to support him in his sports endeavors...if you know Mel, she was always there at his games cheering him on. She is trying to mentally prepare herself for what is to come, you know, climbing Mt. Everest. I can't begin to imagine what must be going on within her...I'm sure it is a mighty struggle of not letting her thoughts of the worst overcome her. The next hurdle to get over is the week of radiation which is a new thing for Mel. She meets with the radiologist tomorrow and we are hoping that it will be a comforting thing to learn more about the process. Please continue to pray for her as we enter this new phase of treatment.

Mel and her dear friend Anna.

Sunday dinner with Kaden and some nephews.

Mel has a hard time staying warm and could often be found hanging out by the heater vents.

Mel and our mom left for Salt Lake tonight and will report to the hospital in the morning for tests and some meetings. She will be having a bone marrow biopsy and they are going to put her out this time...thank goodness, the last one was very painful. We are hoping that all goes well!

We will miss your smiles here Mel! Keep fighting and we'll see you soon.

Guess Who's Home? As In Hyde Park Home...

One exciting thing we learned in Mel's meeting yesterday is that she could come home for a bit before the transplant. We didn't want to say anything until it really happened. Now it has and... MELANIE IS HOME!!! We pulled into our parents driveway at around 8pm tonight. She will be here until Monday night. She has to be back at LDS Hospital on Tuesday for some tests and will continue to go there several times before the actual transplant. If there's one thing we've learned about this process, it's that things change...a lot! We had been told that she wouldn't be coming back to CV for at least a year. We are all so thrilled that she is here and that her and Kaden get to be together.

The drive to Cache Valley wasn't bad for Mel, she said that the headlights from the cars bothered her, but was free from motion sickness (thanks to the little patch she wears). Mel had a lot of mixed emotions about coming home as you can imagine. She did have a look of contentment when she was walking around our parent's home. It has been a long two months! My mom said, "I thought I'd never see the day" referring to Mel coming home. What a blessing that her blood levels are good enough for her to leave not only the confines of the hospital, but the close proximity to the hospital. The tender mercies of our Heavenly Father are everywhere!

I can only assume that there will be many who would like to come and visit Melanie. If you could please call before coming, it would help. She isn't supposed to be in large groups of people and we will need to manage that somehow. She tires easily so keep that in mind. I know that she would love to see you all, but it may not be possible. She is still very sick and needs to be careful.


Welcome Home Melanie!!!

Information Overload

I'm giving Angie a break and posting today. I rode down with our mom to Salt Lake for a family meeting with Dr. Ash and Ladee (Mel's transplant coordinator). Our dad and Kaden also drove down for the meeting. Mel was sooo excited to see Kaden again. It was good to see Mel and to give her a hug, I have sure missed her. Before the meeting, Mel had her blood levels checked and we are happy to report that they are holding steady. Her neutrophils are good so her body has some germ fighting power. Her red blood cells were a bit low and she has been feeling weak and tired...I think she will feel like that a lot for the next while.

The purpose of the family meeting was to explain what the process of the transplant will be and what we can expect. It was an information overload for all of us. Dr. Ash compared the next phase of Mel's treatment to climbing Mt. Everest! There are so many unknowns and the complications and outcome are different for everyone. One thing is for sure! Melanie is in good hands. We have all been so impressed with the level of care that she has received so far. Her doctors are super smart and have plenty of experience in treating her type of leukemia. As a family, we believe in the power of prayer and miracles!

After the meeting, Mel and Kaden bid a tearful goodbye...this has been one of the most difficult thing about Mel being sick, her and Kaden have never been apart this much. I know that it did them good to see each other even for a short time.

My mom and I will be staying here through Sunday and we will keep everyone updated and take lots of pictures. Speaking of pictures, here are some from today...

Cami, Mel, and Angie waiting endlessly for the doctors and blood results.

Mom, Dad, and Kaden waiting endlessly for the doctors...do you see a trend here?


This is Ladee, Mel's fabulous transplant coordinator.


Just before saying goodbye.


On we go, we're ready for the climb!

A Special Gift

Today was a better day. Melanie still gets teary from time to time, but she has a lot she is processing in her mind. Each day seems to get a bit better. My mom and Cami are coming down tomorrow, so I know that will bring big smiles. Melanie had some fun visitors today and a very special gift.

First off, Grandma and Grandpa Perkes stopped by on their way to St. George. They always bring a fun spirit whenever they are around. We are particularly glad that Grandpa is alright. He was in a car accident earlier this week. It was the accident on the news that was blocking I-15 at 600 N. in Salt Lake. He walked away without even a scratch...miracle and blessing!

Tonight, aunt Eva, cousin Jennifer (with two of her children not pictured), and cousin Julie and her daughter Tyler (who is Kaden's age) came to see Mel. It was fun to visit with them. Jennifer's little boy was so funny when they first got here. He just kept staring at Melanie. Even as we were explaining to him why she was bald, he had this blank stare. We were all laughing so hard!

First off, they are both laughing in this picture, because they went to put their heads together and banged into each other a bit harder than intended. Our cousin Jennifer is a very talented artist. She drew this amazing picture for Melanie that brought tears to all of our eyes. Thank you so much Jennifer, Melanie will cherish it forever! She used a picture that Cami had posted on the blog awhile back. It was of Melanie laying in the hospital bed holding her rock.

WOW!! What a special gift!

The Waiting Game

Today was a pretty good day. Melanie is still kind of hit and miss, when it comes to emotions. She was doing good until anybody would call and ask how she was doing. Then, the tears would come. She is still home sick. She is also feeling nervous for what is coming ahead, and does not like playing this waiting game. Ladee, the transplant coordinator, called and talked with her again today. She had some new dates for us. So here is the plan for now (we are learning that it changes frequently):

January 25th or 26: Melanie will checked back into the hospital for her six days of radiation and 2 days of chemo.

February 4 and 5: These are the days they are harvesting the stem cells from the donor.

February 5 or 6: Melanie's transplant (Sorry Marlene--not the 11th anymore)!


I thought Kaden might like this picture! We may have a DSi addict. Mario Bros. is always a good time! Austin and her were video game buddies today. They played the Wii for a bit as well. What a fun aunt!

This evening, Melanie, Steve, and I played a mean game of Ticket to Ride. Melanie lost due to the fact that she got some countries mixed up. The countries and cities are all in German, so it wasn't really her fault. I'm sure we will be playing it again. Steve didn't want this picture (he was goofing around), but Melanie and I decided he had no choice!

Every night, Melanie has to have her dressing changed on her central line. This is something I was really nervous about at first, but it is super easy!

This is what her central line looks like. The red mark on the top , which is just below her neck, is where it all connects into her body.

It has to be all sterile, when we clean it. The first night Melanie was here, we had the door opened a bit. Chase came to ask me a question, and was a bit startled to see me in a mask, gloves, and a weird thing in my hand. He just walked away, but Mel and I knew he was wondering. Later he asked me, "Mom, what were you doing to Melanie?" The next night, Melanie had him come in and showed him the line and told him all about it. He thought it was cool that she didn't have to be poked every time the doctors need blood or need to give her medicine.

Hopefully tomorrow we can find some more projects or things we can do to keep Melanie's mind off of reality.

Home Sick

Today had it's ups and downs. Melanie is still down and cries on and off. If you ask her how she feels, her response is, "It depends on the moment." I feel bad that my trying to help is not really helping. I came to understand a bit of what Melanie is going through tonight as I have been pondering the day. Let me back up and explain some things she said earlier.

I thought things were getting a bit better, but then she told me that she wanted to go back to Greg's house. At first I thought, what am I doing wrong? She went on to explain that being here with our family and our routines and such makes her realize more the things that she is missing by not being home. She misses being a mom and being with Kaden so much. As I thought more about this I had some insight. Melanie has been in a hospital a majority of this time. A hospital is so foreign from anything she was doing at home. There was constant nurses, doctors, and others who would be coming in and out. When she was able to leave the first time, she went to Greg's, his house was full of people. My mom, dad, Kim, Kaden, Greg, and Charise were there and it was a busy Christmas season. Going back into the hospital the second time was harder now that she had seen the outside again. I could tell she was getting a bit down. Then she comes to my house. It is just me and my family, and it is full of things that remind her of home and being a mom. I feel so bad, and had no idea this would be the response. I tried to remember how I feel when I am away from my kids. When Steve and I have been on a trip, I am usually good for short periods of time. A few times we have been gone for a couple of weeks, and it gets the hardest when I see other kids or something that really reminds me of one of my own.

Unfortunately, Melanie can not go back to Greg's, unless my mom comes down. She is trying to work to save her days for when Melanie has her transplant. This is another issue that I think is really getting Mel down. She found out on Monday that she will be admitted into the hospital on Feb. 2, and have the transplant on Feb. 11. I know this is farther away than we originally thought. Melanie really just wants to get it all over with. I think all of this is making her a bit depressed. She seemed a bit better this evening and I asked her if she was feeling better. She said she is alright if she doesn't think about it. We meet with her doctors on Friday. Hopefully they can see if there is anything that might help her. I hope she will have a chance to speak with a counselor as well.

Please hang in there with me, Melanie. I love you so much and only want the best for you!

Extra Prayers

Our drive to the hospital and back went great this morning. I think the patch helped Melanie to not get car sick. They drew some blood and we waited in a room for 40 minutes for the results. Everything looked good for now, which meant no transfusion today. That was a plus!

Melanie was still down today. On the way to the hospital she started crying, because she is just sick of being sick. I thought she was good, but later that afternoon, she hit an emotional wall. She cried for 2 1/2 hours. She was sick of all of it, she wanted to go home, she wants to be with Kaden and be his mom. I think the reality of everything just hit hard. It was so tough to watch her crying like that and not be able to do anything but try to console her the best I could. I called and spoke with one of her PA and my mom, trying to figure out what to do. I know she has had so much medication, and I was wondering if any of them can cause depression. We actually talked to Dr. Ash, and she said Melanie had a small window, if we felt she really needed to go to Logan for a couple of days. However, the risk for complications would go up. My mom just didn't feel it was the best idea. Mel and my mom spoke for a bit, and I think Mel realized that she probably just needed to stay until all her counts were up to stay (her white blood cells and nutrephils will start going down in the next few days). Greg and Steve gave her a blessing and she seemed a bit better tonight, but still a little down. She did not sleep much last night or today, so I'm sure part of it was just exhaustion. I really can't imagine what she is going through. I told her she had every right and need to have a break down and let it all out. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Extra prayers, please!!

Patent Pending

Today was a pretty good day. Melanie was still a little nauseous, but not quite as bad. She is pretty tired as well. She takes so many pills that have a side effect of drowsiness. I told her they need to make something to counter the drowsiness. She gets a bit of exercise every day now, because our guest room is downstairs. That is good for her though, right?

My mom, dad, and Kaden headed back up to Logan today. I know it was really hard for my mom to leave! She trained me well, and I am becoming an expert at cleaning Mel's central line, making sure she takes her medicine, and eats. I just need to work on my back massages. I know Mel will miss my mom!

Melanie was able to get a patch today that will hopefully help with her motion sickness. We will see how well it works on our drive to the hospital tomorrow morning to get her blood levels checked. It also has a side effect of drowsiness!

Melanie came up with a new method of removing the loose, small hairs still falling out of her head. It was very creative! My kids really got a kick out of it. I took some pictures of her demonstrating the novel (patent pending) idea.

THERE WAS A PICTURE, BUT MEL OBJECTED TO IT

STEP #1: Carefully cut a nice piece of Duct Tape. We only had the boring grey, but any color would be fabulous.

STEP #2: Place the tape on the desired portion of your head. The spot with the most hair is what we were aiming for here.

STEP #3: Grab a corner of the tape and gently pull. Melanie informs me that this does not hurt. I'm sure it would not feel good for anyone else to do!

STEP #4: Enjoy the nice, new bald spot!

It beats picking them out one by one!!!

Motion Sickness

Melanie got all settled in Pleasant Grove this evening. It was a long drive here though. She gets car sick even when she feels good! I guess they had to stop a few times, and then she was kind of nauseated for awhile. We are hoping to get a patch or something for when we have to drive to the hospital. We will go to the hospital once a week to have her blood and levels checked.

The Methotrexate is almost out of her system. It was at .02 this morning. Right now she has sores in the back of her throat from the chemo. It makes it painful for eating and talking. Hopefully that will clear up soon, especially once the Methotrexate is completely gone!

Since I had Melanie's camera at my disposal, I decided to put a couple of her pictures on here!

This was from Christmas morning. I think it is such a cute picture of the two of them. Go Cowboys!

This is the line of Methotrexate that was going into her for 24 hours! I told Mel she was really just getting Mountain Dew.

Here is a great picture from New Year's Eve. While Melanie was getting some sleep, my mom was up making these great hats and pom poms (how creative is that)! They headed down and the nurses let them in an empty room to watch the fireworks at midnight. I guess they looked pretty small, but still a great memory!

Melanie ended the year in the hospital, but started the new year out!
21 DAYS OF FREEDOM!